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Liking Your Child versus Loving Your Child

There was a period just a few months back when my daughter and I weren’t getting along too well. I loved her, and I know she loved me, but because of behavioral issues on both our parts, we were butting heads on a regular, day-to-day basis. I’ve read enough psychology books to know that that isn’t conducive to a good relationship. You can love your child all you want, but you must have shared positive experiences that outweighs the bad for you to like your child , and vice versa. That is just the God’s honest truth.

With all our bickering, I’m afraid we didn’t like each other very much for a period of time. It was a short period, but it felt like forever. I wanted to LIKE my chid, but she was at her most oppositional, and I didn’t handle it very well. Mommy’s fault, not hers. We were also together every. single. day. Without fail. I had no break, and with her Dad still deployed, I didn’t have a tag-team partner. Preschool hadn’t started for her yet either. I’m sure that didn’t help any.

Suffice to say that we got over it. I got professional advice, started reading parenting books. She started going to preschool again, where she learned things like cooperation, following instructions, taking turns, and controlling her impulses. Switch! Just like that, I had a different girl, and I was a different Mom. And we started getting along so much better. And we liked each other so much better.

The planned outings that would turn into frustrating times became just pure fun. Shared fun experiences. Positive experiences. Below are pictures from one of those. As you can tell, she loves the beach,, and I like taking pictures of her rolling around in the sun, getting sandy. I’ve loved the beach since I was a little girl. I am so happy she can grow up near beaches.

The first few ones are of her sprawling in the front yard before we left for the beach. And the others are walking to the beach and taking detours in the street.

Click to enlarge

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2 comments

  1. Hey Tin, I didn’t know you had a blog here! I can totally relate to what you’re saying. Being with Connor 24/7 (like this week) drives me insane! I really like that he goes to preschool during the day and we have that break. I think I can tolerate him a lot better with some time away from him. Beautiful pictures by the way.

    • Hi Lissa! Yes, exactly. It really isn’t conducive to be with one person ALL THE TIME. LOL. I’m really glad we were able to get past that period.

      Today for example, Mina was an angel. I think she’s grown a little, but i do think that her school helped a lot. Plus when she still steps out of line, I have the tools I can use to help the situation.


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