At What Age Did You Have It All Together?

When did you become comfortable in your own skin? I don’t ask this of men, but may I should. Do men have the same weird feelings about the skin they’re in? Like it doesn’t belong to them, or that they’re doing it all wrong? Or that if they could only be better-looking, shed 10 lbs., be taller, be more like that neighbor, or friend, or that girl on TV..or or or….

Somehow there’s always a feeling of not being good enough. There’s always a competition. Look at that celebrity pop into those skinny jeans 6 weeks after her baby. Look at her prepare homemade brownies from scratch, with her pearls and high heels on. Look at those immaculate children. What? Her little girl is already reading? No way, she’s 4 months younger than mine!

I think I don’t have to ask men. Most of them don’t deal with all that bullshit in their head. Hey, I could be wrong, but I’m gonna bet I’m right.

That domain of “never feeling good enough” is a woman’s domain. It is constant. It is drilled into us by our mothers as children (“Why can’t you be more like ____”) and we may even see our own mothers struggle with it.  It intensified for me sometime in High School, a hazy awkward emory I’m glad never to repeat. It dulled a little in college, then started dipping little by little throughout my 20s.

Now I’m in my early 30s and I must say I understand when they say that “youth is wasted on the young”. If only I felt back then what I feel now. If only I knew then, what I know now.

The 30s is an interesting time. I still feel like I don’t have it all together. When I slip up on something, make a mistake, fall short of a goal, or mess up a daily routine. A tiny voice in my head quips “Uh-oh, look at you. This isn’t happening to other women!”

Before I would have felt a horrible guilt for a long while. Now, I tell that voice to go suck an egg. I’m tired of that voice. That is not an empowering voice. I have proven to myself over the years that once I set a goal, I can achieve it. My child is happy and well cared for. I’m fine. I’ve been fine. My husband thinks I’m fine too! If things aren’t perfect today, so be it. The world isn’t gonna fall apart and I’m gonna continue being fine.

"Go Suck An Egg"

This gif was made from this interview of Amy Poehler. The “she” the interviewer is referring to is Hillary Clinton.

It’s a more confident time, this being 31 years old. I’m accepting myself as is more and more. This doesn’t mean I don’t have goals, or that I don’t seek to improve myself. But the end result is not the be all and end all of my happiness. Do you feel the same? Do you feel more accepting of yourself? If you don’t, I suggest you stop. Stop looking at a certain point in time when “something” is gonna happen and THEN you’ll feel good about yourself.

Take a cue from Amy Poehler. Tell that voice to go suck an egg. Cause life’s just too damn short.


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